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 Friday, June 26, 2009 @ 12:44 AM As i'm typing this entry.. i asked myself where had she gone to?? the following pictures were pictures before my operation,during and after.. less dan 2 months it will be 2yrs since my operation..  I love myself..satisfied with my assets in a way or another..(minus the fats of coz)  there was nothing there to remind me of anything.. I miss the old me.. i used to be so confident..  So hack care how other looks at me.. So daring.. y the sad look??saw the plaster on my neck?? it was painful to draw the cells out from my neck..  When I still lead a carefree life.. When I could only think of what going to be left on my neck.. this was the last picture taken before my operation. i regret not taking more of it.. 2yrs ago, i finally plucked up my courage to go to the polyclinc.. the lump was there for awhile on my neck.. it wasnt visible but i could feel it since january. i always treat it as my birthday present since i discover it in january 2007 during my preparation for my 21st bdae. . I was scared to go for a check up though the doc did tell me it might be thyroid.. i brushed it away for many months.. till before my trip to thailand in 2007, i was sick.. i went to polyclinic to see a doc.. common flu and cough.. but i duno y i told the doc abt the lump.. that when i haf to go to ttsh for my blood test result for thyroid. after my return, little did i know that i have to for a series of tests.. i didnt tot anything serious till the hospital tried to contact me.. a day after they withdraw cells from my neck.. i've to go back the next day.. i went back alone to ttsh.. i didnt tell anyone except a few close ones.. the doc spoke to me.. my reaction was stunned.. i stepped out of the room and kept crying.. i called miew..i dunoe wat to do.. i was so scared.. 21yrs old..cancer cells found.. i was alone.. the doc arrange an operation date for me.. so that was it..  Miew,lian and my mum accompany me to the hospital.. i woke up they were there. n i remembered asking miew for my hp.. the 1st pic i took after i woke up from my op.. i remembered she even scolded me to be so vain taking picture..  I thanks those who came down n visit me.with the gifts they gave me.. balloons from baofa.. sunflower from joyce.. pillow from lian n miew.. though it had been close to 2yrs.. but i still appreciate those who came..  After i got discharged from the hospital.. seriously i dare not look into the mirror.. i kinda hate the scar.  i felt so lost at that time.. things werent going well for me.. seriously i m emotionally affected by the caterpillar on my neck..  over the months.. i wish it was just a nightmare..  i lost my confidence..everywhere i go.. i always feel someone is looking at my "pet".. i remember a kid was looking at me but her mum just drag her and say dont look at it.. i remember pple saying i took my own life.. negative thoughts just goes around me...  during that time i was looking for a choker to hide that "pet"i remembered asking a fren where to get those names necklace.. once i wore a necklace/choker to hide the "pet".. daniel told me i shldn't hide it.. in fact he told me i shld haf more confident and not be affected by others.. i remembering louis always tell me: u look cool/fierce.. pple will be scare of u.. another funny incident was joyce's bdae.. her cousin asked me wat happened.. i told him i was robbed at a back alley and he actually believed it.. thinking the robber actually slash my neck with a knife..  when my fren asked me was it pain.. physically it wasnt.. emotionally yes it was..  now the scar is slowly fading away..some just forgot abt the operation i had.. some will still be concern and if i need to go back for any check ups or when is my next check up.. but to me..  is a "pet" i haf to keep forever..no matter how fine or not visible it is now.. it is still there.. sometimes when i meet up with pple who dunoe abt my scar.. i will tell them abt my thyroid op.. actually i really hope the scar will just disappear.. i wan the old me back.. |
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 Name:Joy Lim Gek Chen D.O.B : 19/01/1986 Occupation : Prudential Financial Adviser School:May Primary, Bendemeer Secondary, Temasek Polytechnic(Diploma In Info - Communication) ==Wishlist== -Digital Camera( Samsung ST500 ) -Wardrobe -Watch ==Goals== - StarClub 2011 - Car License by end of 2010 |
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