The last day of the month.

Another one more month it is gonna be 2007..

Another yr is going to end soon..

I wrote a whole chunk of rubbish about yesterday's judging..

Than to think back i just deleted it.

When a person is down on luck i think the person is really damn unlucky.

Suddenly I feel my life is so full of shit now.

Those who see me almost everyday.. I m sorry if i give u an unhappy look.

Term Test is another 2 weeks from now..

I need to start preparing.

There is so much things to think about..

how i wish i can just stop studying and go out and work..

Paying everything/everyone what i had owe them..

My mood isnt that great recently..

If u read my past entries I guess you would have guess it too..

I seriously am worn out..

I do not have enough sleep..

No time to study everything..

Yeah i know i've been to this stages too..

But i dun think i need everything to come in all at one go..

It is the final year..

Lately my mind had been totally blank..

I dunoe what i m doing..

The only thing i tried to do now is not to cry..

I cant wait for my 2 weeks break..

But even by than..

I may not have all the time i want..

i need to work..

I miss you gals..

I'm sorry for not meeting u up for dinner.

I'm sorry for not meeting u up for movie..

I'm sorry for not able to meet u up for our durian pudding at hk cafe.

I'm sorry for not knowing how you have been.

I'm sorry for not being there for u when u r going thru rough patches..

I'm sorry for not accompanying you for lunch on mondays' break.

I'm sorry for being such a sucky person..

But to be honest..

My life isnt that fantastic too..

I dunoe how much changes there will be in the future..

Things just not going well for me too..

If i can choose all over again..

I may choose to work instead of coming to poly to study..

And maybe it make a difference for my family..

I pray hard that my sickness will be over soon

I pray hard that my family problem will be over soon

I pray hard that my project and studies go smoothly

I pray hard that I have money to spend for next 3 months so i dun have to work

I pray hard tat everything will be over soon...

I hate stormy weathers..

I hate it when i have to sail out on a rough sea..

I just hate it..

I cant help but to feel jealous..

I envy others who can concentrate on their studies and not work.

I envy those who got the time to meet up with their friends.

I envy those who can have what they wish/want.

I envy those who always got so many people to surround them.

Simply to say i m just jealous of people who are leading a better life than me now.

I'm jealous when my frenz meet up, but I cant..

I'm jealous..

I'm down on luck.

I know u had been trying hard to give ways to my stubborn attitude and my nonsense.

I know there are many times u really want to tell me off.

I know.. I know..

I cant help but to feel this way.

I cant help to feel jealous of others.

I cant help it..

Its true i m the type of person who work for wat i want.

I know where i am heading to.

I know what i m working for.

But i also want to enjoy my life..

I cant help to feel my eyes welling up with tears.

I cant help to feel frustrated.

I cant help to hate myself.

I cant help to be so negative in life.

I know you have advised me times and times again.

I know..

I know it cant be help(unless I strike 4D or have a sudden windfall)

How i wish someone out there, who is rich enuff to give me $2k now so i wun feel this way..

I dun mind to return back the $2k after i go out to the working society..

8 Dec is coming..

School Fee again..

How can i not think so much..

How can i help it?

Is the final semster..

I'm going crazy soon..

I wish it will be over soon.

Yeah i know it is another 3 more months to go(End of feb)

I know..

But tell me..

How can i cope with the nightlife and daytime study..

Not enuff to slp.

Not enuff to have time to study nor write notes.

After 2 weeks of break from my work place.

First day go back only..

And the next day i m sick..

You told me to continue to strive hard for what i want.

But how long more can i strive?

I saw the shoe the other day when we went to buy present.

I really wish to buy..

Cost $33.90..

You asked me to buy..

Ya..

I really wish i could buy it.

I really wish..

But..

I guess...

I have to wait for miracle..

I wish one day..

everything will be going my way..

I tried to be strong..

I tried not to cry

I tried not to feel the ache each time I see the pic of u and another gal..

I tried not to feel jealous.

I tried not to bother about you..

I tried..

I tried to make myself concentrate on myself and only myself..

I dont have much time to continue to bother about others..

It hurt to think this way..

But sometime it is not me who dont wish to look for my friends nor self entertainment..

But..

I guess i m just going towards to the isolate island till I've planted all the seeds and make it to a beautiful island..

My blog is not hard to comprehend my friend..

the whole day i m in school.

i tried to do my project..

There so much things..

Judging..

Reports..

trying to do another game..

Stuck at the game try out..

Jerry tried to help me with the button..

Eventually after a few hours from help of cindy and jerry..

Everyone cant do it sia..

lolx..

And I finally did it..

Yeah(clap clap)...

But i think i need more time more time from everything..

I need a pillar to lean on...

I'm collapsing..

I'm sick..

yet so many things..

Chiong projects, reports(flyers/poster),CCOM(chapter 3),wireless report(due next week),Mobile Communication report(going to due),quiz..

Term test approaching..

I'm dying soon..

I dun wan to work anymore..

I really dun wan to work le..

I need my break too..

I m not a machine..

I need my time for myself too..

I just hate it

When i started writing blogs i didnt imagine writing so much..

This is the 70th entries that I've written since I started.

Many things are racing through my mind.

I can hardly catch a breath le.

I'm just simply exhausted.

I'm all worn out.

Next week is the judging for my MP/SIP which is my final year project.

I didnt realise it is already into week 5 of school le.

That is pretty fast..

Got back my result for my wireless's quiz today..

Not so bad at least..

I didnt fail it..

Just abit of careless mistakes here and there..

It is my last semster..

I really want to score well for everything and move on..

No point in staying back for another semster..

However....

I need to really concentrate..

For the past weeks I've been thinking..

If i do want to study well than I better start attending all lectures and tutorials/labs.

But to think back..

Hey I did tried my best to attend it all..

But due to work..

Which make me late for lectures and I dun wanna waste the money on cab fare..

ARghz..

I'm irritated and frustrated for thinking over the same things over and over again.

Guess those who are around me everyday will be listening me to nag about it everyday bahz.

I really wish to stop..

I want to stop..

I dun wan to work anymore..

My occupation now is student..

Not part time student..

Is a full time student

Why do I need to work since i m a student..

Why cant i just be a student..

ARghz...

Can anyone pls tell me..

How can i just concentrate on study and not work?

I've read an article and I think it does sounds fair in every single bit: